Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
