i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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