that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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