i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
