It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
