Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
