You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
