She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
