I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
