I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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