There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
