i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
