His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
