This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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