..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
