This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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