kristin has been a bad kristin
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
