Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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