I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
