I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
