The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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