If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
