whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
