Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
