It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
