Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
