The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
