wanna go halves on a baby?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
