Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
