i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
