The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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