He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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