On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i think i just lost a toe
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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