mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
