can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
