i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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