That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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