i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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