I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
