This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
