so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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