i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i love accidental penises.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
