I cockslap morals
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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