Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
