do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
