nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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