i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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