every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
