Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There r osticjed everywhere
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
