and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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