Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she smelled like a LAN party
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
