this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
